Now let’s talk sex – anal sex to be exact. Before you continue reading, I’d like to warn you that the following content may be a little, how shall I put this.. ‘different and deep’ as half of you will find this blog post very slightly painful while the other half will find it a pleasure to read.
What You Should Know About Anal Sex
There’s plenty of myths surrounding the idea of anal sex; it’s painful, it’s only pleasurable for men, it’s dirty, your anus will get all stretched out, it’s unsafe .. and the list goes on. Let’s be realistic for a second here, if you’re making these assumptions then you are either: (1) inexperienced or (2) failed to perform this sexual activity correctly. Yes, that would make a lot of sense. The best way to overcome these myths is to really ‘go with the flow’ and by that I don’t mean ‘go straight in’. It means to clear your mind and try not to make any judgements about anal sex before physically performing it. Yeah, yeah I know; it’s so much easier said than done, but it’s really the case here. Your mind will believe what you want it to believe so if you can overcome that the experience will be a pleasure.
Don’t Rely on Porn for Education
As humans it’s in our nature to ‘copy’ the things we see on and/or off screen so it’s perfectly reasonable to imitate what we see in porn videos when it comes to anal sex because well, those guys know what they’re doing, they’re professionals right? Right, but what viewers see onscreen may not be the whole package. According to Charlie Glickman ‘the performers almost always just dive right in, without any warm-up or lube. That’s because all of that happens before the camera gets rolling’. Obviously that’s all viewers get to see so for beginners, that’s what they’re going to imitate. If you can relate then you will agree that the expectation doesn’t correspond to the outcome.. ouch! A whole lot of ouch I will add.
A Pleasurable Experience
A sexual experience with someone you are comfortable with is meant to be pleasurable so if you ever find yourself in a situation where you are far from your comfort zone then something is obviously not right and that may impact heavily on your experiences in the future. Anal sex is a little different from other sexual play as the anus is so ‘physically and emotionally sensitive’ that it’s highly crucial to be on the same page as your partner. You don’t want to pressure your partner into having anal sex and vice versa. Also, if you’re not feeling good during anal sex then you shouldn’t bite your lip and go through with it otherwise the experience will be traumatising.
So it seems like a no brainer to grab some advice beforehand, do a little research or really discuss it through with your partner first, but let’s be honest here! Most of us just skip that part and ‘go straight in’. Don’t get me wrong the idea of uncertainty brings so much more excitement which may occasionally lead to better experiences, but not when considering anal sex. Like every other exercise out there, you need to learn it before you practice it. You don’t want to hurt anyone or get hurt by anyone so here are a few ways on how to make the experience a pleasurable one:
- Explore some of the anal sex positions that are best for beginners.
Lubes are highly essential for anal sex, the more the better!
Condoms can do wonders for your anal sex experience as they glide easier, prevent him from climaxing too soon; win-win situation and also enhance your sexual safety. I mean you’re a big kid now so you know all about ‘safety first’.
- Sex Toys
Introducing some relevant sex toys such as a butt plug or a vibrating prostate massager to the bedroom can also ease the transition into anal sex and create a comfortable experience.
So how to enjoy anal sex you say? Forget all the myths, do your research to gain some knowledge but do not turn to porn for anal sex education, explore and introduce sex toys and most importantly discuss it through with your partner.