NOTE: This article is focused on singles and those who live in polyamorous relationships. This doesn’t mean that it’s completely irrelevant to those who are monogamous!
The term “comet” could be considered a term that has more to do with the polyamorous view of relationships – however, this doesn’t necessarily have to be the case! In essence, a “comet” is a lover that you only occasionally meet, either through arrangement or by chance, with whom you have a romantic and/or sexual connection. It’s a little more than a fling: whilst flings can go on for set periods of time, the time spent with a comet tends to be short-lived and happens infrequently.
How Do Comets Work?
In terms of polyamory, a comet is more or less a long-standing fling that is “activated” now and then. The usual circumstance is that the comet in question only visits the area or town occasionally and will meet up with their partner either for conversation, drinks or a steamy night. It depends entirely on what the people themselves want.
By nature, comets tend to be intense people and offer a new and exciting perspective. For some polyamorous couples, one of the partners having an occasional comet can end up bringing a lot of new and useful things into the relationship to help it improve. Some couples may even invite the comet into their sex life for the short time that they are there in order to learn new things.
Comets – A Purely Sexual Connection?
It is entirely possible that a person may only have a sexual connection with their comet: perhaps it will also involve a bit of romance, but for the most part, it could simply mean that these two people have a time of passion and sex – one that doesn’t last very long. In cases of a pure sexual connection, both parties are fully aware of this and will keep one another on the “back burner” so to speak, until one of them is available.
Of course, a lot of comets tend to have a much important and deeper connection to a person’s life. Comets tend to be the “what if” situation: a person who could theoretically be a good partner in a lot of ways, but for whatever reason (usually circumstantial but sometimes deliberate) cannot be a stable partner. In this case, a person will normally have their stable partner(s) (considered “primaries”) in terms of polyamory.
Sexy Comets: Can They Become Relationships?
It is entirely possible that a comet can become a relationship. After all, the two people in question will usually have a deep connection of some kind. This connection can be deepened and built upon if circumstances change: of course, this usually involves a lot of communication. In the ideal situation, all partners are aware of the situation. Moving from a “comet-style” relationship to something that is a bit more solid and continuous will generally take time and is something that everyone has to be involved in.